Welcome both here in Portchester, and virtually to John’s friends and families; the family he grew up with and those that joined later, plus his Thistledown, Blendworth and Redclyffe families.
1969 was a momentous year. Man journeyed to the moon, but first, in fact on the very first day of that year - in Portsmouth, Hampshire John was born to Liz and Joe Mardel.
John’s early childhood was spent in Langstone with plenty of neighbouring families to play with. John, always with a grin on his face, was the centre of every game. When little sister Kate was born he doted on her and took huge pride in helping her to learn to walk. John loved a practical joke – the top one being to copy whatever his sisters did or said. It is possible that the legendary Jonty finger wag first emerged when mimicking ‘teacher’ Lucy playing schools. It certainly became his trademark gesture and was one of his longest-lasting communication tools.
Childhood summers were spent sailing, usually with a family of neighbours. John was always in on the game or the joke in: rowing races, fishing for shrimps from the jetty or burying one of the ‘big kids’ in the sand.
John had a big and loving extended family. He was adored by his cousins and the feeling was mutual. He was the cornerstone of family life. He looked forward to Christmases, weddings and funerals– as they involved being surrounded by cousins and lots of good food. When his cousins had babies he was always ready to give a gentle cuddle.
At 16 he left school and spent 2 years as a residential student at Lufton Manor Rural Training Unit in Yeovil, where he learned independence and life skills. He flourished; amongst other things developing the confidence to travel by train back and forth between Hampshire and Somerset.
His independence skills were put to good use on his visits home … his enthusiasm for clearing away the plates after a meal was later revealed to be a clever ruse to allow him to pick at the left overs unobserved in the kitchen.
Aged 18 he moved to Thistledown, on Hayling Island, where he lived for nearly 30 years, most of it with the same wonderful friends – Phil, Paul and Andrew. Supported by the Finchams and two generations of the Bagoban family,. Having moved away from Mum and Dad he was now expected to look after himself, which he did: keeping his room clean by tidying up the piles of colouring books and pens and putting away his packs of batteries, (always extra packs on hand in case the ones in his Walkman ran out).
Life at Thistledown was busy: there was weekly training with the South East Special Olympics squad. He competed at several Special Olympics winning an impressive array of medals in long jump, shot put and the 50 metre dash.
The guys attended numerous courses at South Downs College. John was always keen on tasks that included colouring and took a special interest in learning about Italian food, particularly as it involved making pizza.
John’s social calendar was pretty full; with social clubs at Anders House twice a week and evenings out with his sisters’ mates down the pub with a coke (no ice), crisps and always a smiley girl by his side. One of his favourite social events was going to discos. John LOVED dancing – particularly when there was a pulsing beat.
Music was one of John’s lifelong passions. The Spice Girls and Kylie were amongst his favourites and as well as a mountain of CDs he had the fan club membership and calendars to prove his loyalty.
He spent his working life at Blendworth Horticultural Centre. His boss Mark, remembers that John’s favourite job was weeding with the sticks of which he had many hidden away in his locker, (including plant labels appropriated from their pots). Another favourite was the job of pulling ivy off trees, fences or wherever it was growing. In the winter he and Paul would spend hours splitting logs to be sold as firewood; sticking at it in all weathers. The stubbornness that sometimes stopped him in his tracks also gave him the tenacity to see a job through.
Everyone remembers John’s winning smile. He smiled when he met you because he genuinely loved being with people. There was no artifice with John. If you were his favourite he told you, if you gave him a present he didn’t like … he told you! If you asked him to do something he enjoyed he was all smiles, if he didn’t want to do it - he could grump for Hampshire.
When his father developed Alzheimer’s and started attending Patey Day Centre John regularly attended with him as a ‘helper’; the lure was undoubtedly the friendly staff and the inclusive atmosphere.
Juggling was one of John’s favourite hobbies. A variety of objects became his juggling tools – plastic bottles, sticks, toothbrushes. And long after he stopped juggling the desire to collect juggleable implements remained. We have left with him a collection of juggling paraphernalia to keep him busy.
In the last few years, early onset dementia, that insidious thief, began to unravel John’s abilities; it shrank his world; it robbed him of his job and many of his interests. However, the very core of Jontiness survived and so from the time he moved to Redclyffe House in November 2018 the residents and staff were wooed by his cheekiness (there was lots of finger wagging and giggling), his flirting and his enjoyment of music.
Wherever John lived, worked and socialised he made lasting friendships. Always initiated with an outstretched hand and the no-nonsense introduction “Hello, I’m John”. We didn’t mind that he would trick us with his japes and then laugh himself silly at his own joke because we always ended up laughing too. We are all left with a Jonty-sized hole in our lives, which can’t ever be filled with lasagne, Kylie or an unlimited supply of batteries.